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Had kids - warning - you might cry at EVERYTHING now | Mother Distracted

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Saturday, 13 June 2015

Had kids - warning - you might cry at EVERYTHING now


Oh God.  I used to be vaguely emotional, but since I had kids it's as if the dam has opened and I cry at anything.  Randomly.  I suppose it's because the balance of my hormones has altered, although at my age, I'm more menopausal than premenstrual!

Leave me alone.  I'm just having 'a moment'.
Of course there are plenty of days when, as mothers, we may spend more than an hour or so on the brink of mild hysteria.  This state can be induced very easily during breakfast by a coco-pops shortage, running out of milk or the offspring moving slower than a slug through treacle to don their school uniform or put their coat on.

But I'm talking about real tears, runny noses and damp tissues.  I'm talking puffy eyes and a mild headache from the facial exercise involved in try to hide the fact that you are crying.  

I always used to be set off by television programmes like "The Waltons", "Little House on The Prairie" and even the film "The Sound of Music" but now every time I turn the television on, it's an emotional time-bomb.

For example, I cry at
  • - charity ads
  • - Comic Relief or Sports Aid
  • - any community based DIY project programme, or "Changing Rooms"
  • - wildlife documentaries - if little ducks get eaten, I'm done for.
  • - beautiful pictures of trees
  • - christmas adverts - John Lewis' ad is always torture (in a good way)
  • - nativity plays and the kids' christmas shows

Not only do I cry at sad things, but I cry at happiness inducing things too.  For this reason, I fear watching just one episode of "Long Lost Families" would be extremely bad for my health.  It's bad enough coping with the Nationwide Bank advert featuring the father who leaves his scarf on the bus. It's not Anna Karenina is it but still, the old bottom lip starts to wobble.

Is it just me though?  I turned to my fellow parenting bloggers to see if their waterworks were as random and spontaneous as mine.

Anneka at mrscraftb.co.uk says  "Oh my goodness! I'm exactly the same. Anything where there is a mummy and baby involved; "One Born Every Minute, gorillas on a wildlife programmes, mice on "Spring Watch!! Gosh it's terrible.

Laura at sidestreetstyle.com says "I never used to cry but now if I watch "One Born Every Minute" I'm in floods of tears every time a baby is born".

Mellissa at thediaryofajewellerylover.co.uk shared that "I cried when my son won an award in Art for the best GCSE results in the school. I had big tears rolling down my face and felt so silly.

For Rebecca Ann at munchiesandmunchkins.com it's "anything at all which involves children being ill or dying even if I know it's fictional . I was actually blabbing 5 minutes into the film "The Impossible" whilst heavily pregnant with baby 2 - the wave hadn't even hit by that point by the way. I also cry a lot more now when I see people being very nice to others.

Su at soosie.wales says "everyone thinks I'm strong but under the hard exterior I'm fluffy marshmallow! I can cry at the drop of a hat. Posts from bloggers relating to hard times, films, adverts..the recent one about a chap that loses his scarf gets me every time. Suffering of children, bad treatment of anyone. Years ago Esther Rantzen did a programme about homeless people and it featured an old chap. An old soldier who fought for this country living on the streets. It broke my heart, I was inconsolable for hours at the injustice of it."

Debbie at anorganisedmess.com says "my hubby laughs at the things I cry at since having children, not that I was heartless before, but definitely the films I wouldn't have thought so much about before- I'm thinking of "My Sister's Keeper" and "The Impossible" as most recent examples. But I've also lost my fearlessness, especially at theme parks- my children (at 4 and 6) will now go on rides which make me feel ill, whereas before I had to go on rides alone because the OH wouldn't go on."

Cathryn at cardiffmummysays.com has the same problem.  She says "Oh yes, this is me too. I've always been emotional but it's gone into overdrive since having children. At my daughter's first school christmas show, I was crying before they'd even come on stage! I cried loads listening to them sing. When we had the open morning before she started in reception, they had the year 6s singing a song they'd written about them leaving and going off to secondary. I was crying and these weren't even my kids, and my daughter hadn't even started at the school! I cry at all their birthdays, when everyone is singing happy birthday. And films - I cried in Cinderella because it was heartbreaking when her mother was dying, but I also cried in The Lego Movie, when we realised it's about a boy and his dad, and Home when she finds her mum again. I cry every year when my children wake up on Christmas morning and Father Christmas has been. I cried when my two eldest, completely unprompted, sang a song for their grandparents, word perfect. Basically, I cry at anything!"

Cathryn also remarked that she feels so much more aware of death and loss now that she's a mum. And isn't that the real reason we mums well up so frequently?  Nothing makes you more aware of the passage of time than having a child - doubly so for us older mums.

In a strange way, having kids seems to hold a magnifying glass up to all our emotions, both good and bad, and we somehow gain the courage to express them in ways we wouldn't have dreamed of before. I have given up being embarrassed about crying, at least in front of the Husband, although I suspect he thinks blubbing all the way the "Britain's Got Talent" is a little odd.  (Côr Glanaethwy, the Welsh Choir were robbed!).

I'm welling up already just thinking about it .......
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