We all know how addictive crushing candy is but if you’re looking to, ahem, justify the doubtless hours of investment you’ve put into trying to get that little plane to fly you to the next level, here are 10 life lessons you can say you’ve mastered.
I'm hoping this will stop the Husband and my sister from berating my fecklessness but my hopes aren't too high.
1. Collaboration gets you there faster
If you play the game via Facebook (or connect your app to Facebook on a tablet), you get to send and receive lives and moves to and from your friends. I strongly suspect I’ve got new Facebook friends solely for them to get Candy Crush lives.
2. Play on more than one platform
If you play Candy Crush on a desktop and then on a tablet or phone, you get a whole new set of 5 lives.
You don’t make chances in life by staying put now, do you?
Bloggers, Marketers and Social Media Managers all know that widening your bases brings in dividends.
3. You need a strategy
It took me a while to realise this (d’oh!) but there is a specific ‘key’ to getting through each level. Each game is like a mini logic puzzle you need to figure out.
Just sitting there clicking those computer keys is going to keep you there a very long time.
And if you need some strategic help (it's not cheating!!!), this is my favourite, um, online resource.
4. Sometimes you need to slow down to speed up
And before you start clicking, take a short while to take a good look at the level – where do those bombs come from? Where do those cherries and nuts fall out? Do you really need to get rid of all that jelly?
As the Husband frequently says in an exasperated tone - "you need to look at the bigger picture".
5. Sometimes you’ve just got to invest
My family tell me buying boosters is outright cheating. I disagree. Sometimes you need to invest a little to achieve your goals.
Note, I said a little. No point investing if you haven’t got a strategy.
So yes, I have purchased some lollipop hammers. Go me.
6. Practice Makes Perfect
To master anything you need to practise. I appreciate mastering Candy Crush may not be a particularly noble goal but it’s the principle, isn’t it?
The kids are already Minecraft professionals and you have to keep up with your kids in some form, don't you?
7. Boasting is annoying
I never click the ‘share’ button to announce I’ve reached the next level or beaten one of my Facebook friends.
For a start, announcing you’re spending your time crushing Candy is often frowned upon and nobody likes a smart alec.
I accidentally clicked the 'share with your friends' button once and the social shame stung for weeks.
8. But competition is good
On the other hand there’s nothing wrong with wanting to become champion of each episode. When you can see your friends are numerous levels ahead of you, don’t you just want to get ahead of them?
There's no liberal namby-pamby two inches behind you soothing "oh well you gave it your best shot and it's the taking part that matters".
Nope. It's Candy Crush or Level Fail. Deal with it.
9. Watch your ‘bombs’ but don’t rush to explode them.
Sometimes you can waste loads of moves only to find that the bombs detonate themselves on a move of the candy conveyor belt.
In the same way sometimes problems resolve themselves without you having to waste your time and energy.
The trick is knowing when you need to detonate and when time will sort a problem out for you.
10. ‘Me time’ is good
I find Candy Crush incredibly relaxing –although the Husband says I’m usually shouting at the screen and cursing the invasion of chocolate.
Still, there are no calories in Candy Crush and it’s a very cheap hobby – as long as you keep your fingers off the buy booster buttons.
I like to think it gives my brain a work-out and one thing’s for sure, when I’m crushing that candy I’m not worrying about my tinnitus or the list of tasks I have for my blog.
So do you play Candy Crush? Could you send me a life and 3 more moves please?