School sports day. I hated it, although it was one of those occasions where I wish I hadn’t spent most of my PE lessons hiding in the toilet pretending to be the poster girl for Always feminine hygiene products. (The Bodyform woman always sang far too loudly and probably had chronic laryngitis). Yes, we were sold a big fat lie by Tampax because I certainly never had the urge to go windsurfing, kayaking or skydiving whilst on my period. Or not on my period come to that.
I did use to make an effort at hockey and loved to play Left Back, but largely because the LB on the bib matched my then initials. I still can’t do a forward roll (forget backwards, although I will consider Swiss Roll).
My own school sports day usually involved me languishing at the back of the sports field wishing it was home time and hating the fact that us red-headed, er, athletes, don’t do well in the sunshine.
So I am determined that Caitlin and Ieuan will have at least a modicum of sporting prowess. They both ran a normal race (see I don’t even know the term) and an obstacle race against the polite applause and cheering of the crowd of parents.
The sound of this was drowned out by the woman bellowing at the front like a wounded buffalo – “mooooove it, moooove it”. Whoops – I don’t know what came over me. In the same way, I cannot explain why I routinely cry at every school play and concert.
Still, I know it’s not just me. I think many mums returned home beaming with pride and updated their Facebook statuses to the effect that their offspring ran like Mo Farah or Jessica Ennis. Hmm. No pressure then.
I tell my two winning is good but it’s all about trying your hardest and taking part. Just in case sporting prowess is inherited from their parents’ genes!
School sports day? I’m hoping for rain. And as for the mums’ race – they’ll have to catch me first!