Derek Zoolander Meet Your Nemesis – Ieuan

Leaving aside the fact that my thighs have gone blue this morning and I can’t work out if it’s dye from my jeans or I have got something horrible and vascular, the week has started relatively smoothly.

The boy has gone off to start his first full week in school with excitement and reissued threats from his parents that all Christmas presents will be dependent upon Santa’s satisfaction with his vegetable consumption.

We are hoping that school will, how shall I put it, smooth some of the rougher edges of his behaviour because Ieuan’s favourite thing to do at the moment is “grumping”. Disciplining boys certainly seems to be a different experience from girls.  I even struggle with that word because it implies punishment whereas, to me, it means loving instruction – at least where children are concerning.

When he doesn’t want to do something he will adopt the posture of a miniature rapper – less Eminem, more M&Ms (actually I still remember Peanut Treats but then I am a child of the 60’s when established brands weren’t buggered about with to keep the USA happy – Snickers?  Oh really.).

Lately, Ieuan has ramped up this posture in homage to Derek Zoolander (the fab Ben Stiller in the film of the same name) to include his “spooky look”. Disciplining boys whilst trying not to snort with laughter is no mean feat I can tell you.

Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander - disciplining boys
Courtesy of

Currently, our discipline methods include threats of toy removal, early bedtimes, cake bans, confiscation of Toy Story DVDs and exchanging him for a cat.  These are all about as effective as Ed Milliband.

disciplining boys - Ieuan Hobbis and his spooky look
Ieuan Hobbis – “Spooky”

Dare I say that I have noticed the tendency of some mothers to be a little more lenient with sons?  Do we cut our sons more slack?  Do we discipline boys in a different way? I wonder sometimes if I am being less firm with Ieuan than I am with Caitlin and I really don’t want him to grow up as a mummy’s boy.  I am advised that a reward chart might be the way to go.  Kids certainly seem to love stickers. Needless to say, when I was in school we did not have stickers.  We had detention.

So, at various times during the day, I hear the phrase “mummy, I’m grumping!” and then “I’m doing my spooky look” – and I’m trying to ignore it and channel the behaviour into something positive.

I think it may be time to work on a new face of my own,  (my repertoire includes “nearly manic” and “cajoling”) – but what will instil terror into the heart of a four-year-old?  Oh, I know.  Dr Who.

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  1. Julie Roo
    14 September, 2013 / 1:56 pm

    That is a grumpy stamping feet sort of face, I recognise it from my own boys.

  2. Emily Jasper
    12 September, 2013 / 2:08 pm

    Recognise that grumpy face 🙂 Bless him! Ahh I loved Zoolander, it's hilarious. Have you watched any of 'supernanny'?There's stuff like the Naughty step which may work. Or making a gold star chart, so they get rewards every time they do something good and take away stars for bad behaviour. Worth a try, if not tell him his cousin will come down and tell him off x

  3. 9 September, 2013 / 2:22 pm

    Ha I did laugh at the photo, bless him xx lots of love Beautyqueenuk xx

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