You know when you do things you don’t need to but feel compelled? No, I’m not talking about OCD (although that’s another story). It’s one of the challenges of coping with anxiety on an on-going basis.
My anxiety levels have risen since I left my job as a marketing director in a law firm for the much more challenging role of stay at home mother.
I think it’s the lack of project deadlines or not having to report in that’s done it. Sometimes I wonder if it’s the onset of the (whisper it reader, whisper it) menopause so I’m popping a bit of the old Black Cohosh each morning just in case.
My GP has snorted in derision at this suggestion – “the average age is 53” – but who needs proper medical advice when you’ve got hoards of complete lunatics offering unsolicited advice on the internet, right?
Anyhow, Caitlin is having a trial ballet lesson this afternoon and I have just spent approximately an hour this morning scouting out the venue and, more importantly, potential places to park.
My preferred approach to parking is “trundle to the desired location and stop”. My parallel parking is right up there with my macrame skills – both end up in knots. It’s quite embarrassing to have to admit it because it’s not very, well, feminist is it?
I know if I don’t do this, I’ll lie awake obsessing about how long it will take me to drive to Canton, the odds of finding a parking space and every single location I could possibly park within a one-mile radius. Not conducive to a good night’s sleep, I can tell you – even though I know I’ll have sat nav to help me out these days!
I find these days I have to micro plan everything which means I’m efficient but as any fan of meaningless management jargon will know, it might not make me very effective. It’s certainly not doing my blood pressure any good.
Still, it’s Friday which makes it a “mummy’s special juice” evening and in the meantime, I will peruse my wall of self-help/stress management tomes to see what random advice I can adopt today about coping with anxiety and promptly forget all about tomorrow.
Caitlin is so excited about going to ballet. I studied ballet myself until I was 16, having all the grace of a three-legged gazelle. I remember the pink tights and ballet slippers, the leotard and my mum cursing as she tried to shove my hair into a bun. I also remember my legs feeling like jelly after an hour’s lesson.
Ballet is a strict and exacting discipline – however beautiful it looks. It’s excellent for improving posture and deportment. Something quite a few girls today would benefit from. I actually think ballet is a bit of a vocation – it can certainly be hard work.
We’ll see how Caitlin gets on. I think the most important thing is to give your kids a chance to experience different activities if you can, encourage their progress but not be too disappointed if that activity is not for them.
Let’s be honest, I’m sure many parents may be spending a lot on activities their kids don’t really enjoy – our kids’ hobbies are not always cheap, are they!
And at least I know where to park. Hope there’s a whacking great space available! Coping with anxiety is a constant drain and I’m managing it the best way I know how – by being proactive and tackling it head-on.
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