Breast is Best For Baby But Not Always Best For Mum

Breastfeeding is a topic that tends to polarise opinion between mums and, indeed, the medical establishment. There are those who insist it is the ONLY way to feed and then there are those who are far more relaxed about offering formula from the start.

Given the furore surrounding the latest suggestion by the NHS that a financial incentive of £200 should be offered to new mums to encourage them to breastfeed, I thought I’d record my experience.

breastfeeding - Caitlin at 9 months in August 2008
Caitlin at 9 months in August 2008

From this week, new mums in parts of Yorkshire and Derbyshire will be offered £120 in high street shopping vouchers if they sign up to declare they have breastfed their baby for 6 weeks.  They will get the £80 balance if they continue to breastfeed for six months.  If the scheme is successful, it has been mooted to roll it out nationwide.

Leaving aside the stunning flaw in this ‘cunning plan’ – i.e. that there is no actual way i) to prove the babies are breastfed or ii) that the money is not spent on booze and fags, isn’t this the Nanny State going too far?

When I was pregnant with Caitlin in 2007 there was a subtle, continuous pressure from nursing and midwifery staff to breastfeed.  I dutifully went to the ante-natal classes for a session on breastfeeding.  I was fully prepared to give Caitlin the best start I could.  The actual experience was not the milky Mother Earth experience I was expecting.

For a start, I found it really difficult to express – it hurt and I had the midwife round to the house twice (she was patience personified) to explain how to position my nipple correctly. You do not, as I thought, just stick the baby on to your breast and let them get on with it.

After ten weeks of sitting through entire episodes of Midsomer Murders during which Caitlin seemed to suck constantly but ineffectively, I became worried as her weight began to drop.  I was clearly producing insufficient milk – possibly due to my age of 43 – I am an older mum.

After 10 weeks I was really worried and it took one particularly down-to-earth midwife to say “look, you don’t need our permission to stop breastfeeding.  If it’s not working, try formula.”.  Even though I felt like a failure,  I swopped to SMA formula and Caitlin thrived from then on.

When Ieuan was born in 2009, I put him on formula straight away. I was then 45 and decided that since my first attempt at breastfeeding hadn’t been a success, I didn’t want to risk a similar experience with him.  And you know what?  All the extra stress and upset I went through with Caitlin meant I had less time to bond with her, to cuddle her without the extra worry – just to spend those precious first moments enjoying my new baby.  She was born by emergency caesarean so I had to recover from the operation at the same time as wrestle with breastfeeding.

I don’t think you can dictate to a new mum what is right for her.  And I object to making women who don’t want to or for whatever reason can’t breastfeed, feel guilty or ‘less’ – and Lord knows there are enough “sainted” mothers who look down on those of us who have had caesareans as somehow having copped out without adding breastfeeding into the mix.

As for offering £200 to enforce breastfeeding, frankly, I would rather see the money put towards improving the education of young people about contraception.  And in any case, given the pressure, A&E units are under and given yesterday’s news that the number of drop-in medical centres is decreasing thus putting extra pressure on A&E or the difficulty the NHS seems to be having to recruit midwives, surely this is where the money should be going.

To new mums out there I say, don’t feel guilty.  You are absolutely NOT a failure. Do what you feel is right. As my feisty midwife said to me – if mum is happy, the baby is happy.


  1. lisa prince
    19 June, 2015 / 10:00 am

    im mum of 7 with another on the way and i had no luck whatsoever with my others breastfeeding, i found it painful , im sure my babies had teethin their gums when they were born but this time im hoping to be successful x

  2. 28 April, 2015 / 6:48 pm

    With five kids I have had ups and downs with breastfeeding! Thanks for linking up #MMWBH

  3. 22 April, 2015 / 10:48 pm

    Oh my god, my health visitor said the same thing 'if mum is happy, the baby is happy.' – I nearly got PND from breast-feeding, so moved to formula from 3 weeks. My boy is nearly 3 now and perfectly healthy. Mums should be able to make their own choices, its our bodies! I personally am fed up with this nanny state. The money should go to improving children's services I feel. #MMWBH
    Sabrina x

  4. Odd Socks and Lollipops
    22 April, 2015 / 9:03 pm

    I think you are right that money could be better spent elsewhere, and £200 is not going to change someones mind to breastfeed if they have decided to bottle feed – and if they have decided to bottle feed noone should be trying to change their mind! And it's just and extra thing that those who are struggling to breastfeed and find that despite the fact they really want to breastfeed they cant – are 'losing' so to speak, like that money is telling that that breastfeeding is what they should be doing… which is ridiculous. We should be given information left to make our own minds up and then given the support we need – we shouldn't be pressured or bribed!

    I am at the other end of this now, breastfeeding at 16 months and being told I 'should give up' so you really really can't win!!

  5. Esther James
    13 November, 2013 / 9:17 pm

    I had a terrible time trying to breastfeed with my daughter, and ended up expressing for six months as I wanted to give her the best start. Luckily things were easier with my son but it was still a bit of a slog. I loved the bonding through breastfeeding but everyone should know that it can be hard work and doesn't always go to plan!

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