Caring For Elderly Parents When They Still Live At Home

Watching the people that brought you into the world age isn’t nice. It is even worse when you have to care for them, but they want to stay at home. Everyone has the right to their opinion, and most of the elderly are of the opinion that they want to keep their independence. That is their right, but it makes your life much harder. The only thing you can do is respect their decision and try and care for them as effectively as possible.

Elderly Person's Hands - caring for elderly parents at home -

Doing that while you live in a separate house is never easy. In fact, it is a difficult process full of stress and jangled nerves. But, it is possible to achieve if you have the know-how. And, it is worth the effort. After all, they dedicated their lives for you – now it is your turn.

Modify Their House

One thing you should insist on is that the house needs modifying to their needs. If they want to stay at home, they need to compromise, and this is the first compromise. Again, the elderly don’t like making these changes because it is like admitting they are getting old. But, they are essential to their health. A stair lift or an adapted bathroom will improve their quality of life and reduce the risk of injury. When you visit sites like, you can see how easy it is to make it happen. There is a range of lifts and platforms for adapted homes, most of which are affordable too.


Regular Visits 

Even with all of the newest mod cons, they are still likely to have a trip or a fall. That isn’t meant to alarm you, but you should be aware that there is still a risk. If they do have an accident, they will need physical help. If you visit them on a regular basis, you will be there for them when they need you the most. Plus, you can take the strain off their shoulders and make their everyday life easier. For example, you can bring them their groceries so that they don’t have to leave the house. Little things like that reduce the need for them to take risks which lead to injury.

Split Duties 

Still, you can’t do everything on your own because you are only one person. And, you have a family and a life to live too. If you have siblings, you need to make sure that they pull their weight when it comes to caring for your parents. They have a responsibility just like you, and they need to fulfil their duties. It is amazing having brothers and sisters that do their bit because you can balance your life with your parents. Some families even create plans so that they have every day covered. For example, you can see them on Mondays and Wednesdays, and your siblings split the rest of the week.


Hire A Carer

Sometimes, caring for your parents is too much even with the help of the whole family. After all, you family doesn’t slow down just because your mum and dad are getting old. That is when you need to consider hiring a carer. A care assistant will visit your parent’s home when you don’t have the time. And, they are trustworthy people because they are industry professionals. This link will provide you more information A good caregiver will make everyone’s life much easier. If you are worried about the money, you can get a grant or a government loan to subsidise the cost.


Move In With Them 

When the situation gets that bad, you need to consider moving home. They won’t move because they want their independence. But, they might let you move in with them for a while. Most parents see it as their kids coming back home, not as you helping them out. Plus, no parent will stop their children from coming home because it is part of their DNA. It is a viable option as long as the house is big enough because you need enough space for everyone. The kids might not like it, and your partner might feel the same, but they will understand. You can do it for a year and rent out your home to see how it works. If it doesn’t, you can move home and think of a new plan. If it does, you should consider making it permanent.

Create An Emergency Plan 

You can’t be there for them all of the time, and that is when they tend to have an accident. When that happens, you need a plan of action. Everyone needs to know their job and what they should do if possible. For example, you should tell your parents they need to ring an ambulance and then ring you straight away. Or, tell them to press the emergency button (see modify home) to alert the emergency services. A plan is vital because it can be the difference between life and death.


Suggest They Consider Moving 

They will only get worse as they get older. That is also true if they have a bad incident and need to visit the hospital. When that happens, you have no other choice but to make them see sense. No one wants to force their parents into a decision, but you do need to have a stern word. They need to know that caring for them while they are at home alone isn’t feasible anymore. They need to understand that they need permanent help, whether they like it or hate it. Only then can you start to give them the care they deserve. No one is saying that they have to move into a care home because they can move into your home. Then, you don’t have to disrupt your family’s life. A care home might be the option, but that is the final straw. Sometimes, assisted living quarters are available and they mix the independence and around the clock care.


Caring for elderly parents is never easy. But, you have to do what is best for their health.


Ex marketing professional turned family lifestyle blogger. I live in Cardiff with hubby Mat, Caitlin (10) and Ieuan (8).

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