This week I’m talking about how to act when you meet the ex who left you, how to know when to end a relationship and, as usual, how to know if a text flirtation could become something more.
If you would like any advice, feel free to message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.
Here’s this week’s questions.
A: Have you actually met this man in person a few times? A relationship conducted just via text and phone is hardly going to go anywhere is it?
The problem with online dating is that there is so much choice, so much temptation and comparatively few people looking for long term, meaningful relationships. When I was online dating I could have had a new date every day and the excitement is quite infectious.
The fact that it’s been a month doesn’t sound too hopeful but if you have been sitting by the phone waiting for him to do all the running then you only have yourself to blame.
Perhaps he thinks you couldn’t be bothered and weren’t that interested either?
Or have you been trying to get in touch and he has not returned your messages? If that is the case it’s pretty clear he’s not interested I’m afraid.
I would try to contact him one last time to see if he wants to meet for a date but if you are brushed aside then delete his number and move on.
Q: My wife treats me very well. She is very loving. However why does she continue to cheat on me particularly with online emotional affairs?
A: Well, no, she really does not treat you well does she?
Neither is she very loving if all her affection is based on keeping you sweet whilst she pursues other men.
The question is not really why she does it. She does it because you let her get away with it.
The question is, why do you think so little of yourself to put up with being treated as second best?
In your shoes I would tell her in no uncertain terms that the online flirtation needs to stop – because it is not harmless fun.
You need to sit down with her and assess where your relationship is going. If she truly loves you and wants you to be happy, she will listen and agree to stop.
If she carries on regardless then, personally, I would look for a partner who is present and happy to be in a relationship with me, rather than someone who is clearly looking for excitement elsewhere.
You need to be firm.
Q: How should I act when I see my ex boyfriend on the road or somewhere?
We dated for a year and broke up but he came back. I loved him so I dated him again but when he left I found out he had just used me to make a girl jealous. He wanted that girl but she had a boyfriend. After 3 months of being back together, during which he sent pictures to her, she broke up with her boyfriend. They are together now.
Act as if you are much too busy to even give him a moment’s thought. Even better if you could act surprised to see him – as if you’d forgotten he existed.
A: There’s nothing wrong with a man having female friends as well as his partner of course. But what’s suspicious is when he’s meeting those friends without telling her.
Q: Is it time to end this relationship?
A: When people ask questions like this with no detail or background, I always think they are really just asking for permission from someone else to do what they really want to do.
If so, that’s not fair.
As the old maxim goes, it’s not the one you can live with you want – it’s the one you can’t live without.
How would you have responded to these questions? I’d love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page.
Midlife mum from Cardiff. Wine Imbiber. Likes glitter, fluff and olives. Approaching tweendom with Caitlin (11) and Ieuan (10). The husband is hiding in the loft.
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