It’s that time of year when we find ourselves both reflecting on the year just past and the one to come. It’s time to evaluate everything that has gone before, to take stock and to make some changes.
The problem with this, of course, is that, if we’re not careful, our focus can be on all the bad events, the unhappy moments, the things we shouldn’t have said and the things we should have done.
Clayton John Ainger, award-winning author of The Ego’s Code (£15.99, Panoma Press) shares why negativity is a powerful message from you, to you; a message to learn from rather than suppress you.
Because we all have this tendency to focus on the negative, we may find this causes so much uncertainty that we end up paralysed and end up doing nothing.
Clayton says that, as you change, your life changes. Rather than look at negativity as an obstacle, it is better to see it a fuel for change and one which can motivate you to make important changes so that you reveal the real you, the you that is often hidden away!
Here are his three quick tips to help you start banishing your negativity in 2017.
“1. Change the meaning of your negativity – Negativity is a natural and normal part of life, and is a valuable resource for change. By treating negativity as innately bad or wrong, we give it more power over us and increase its impact in our lives. Changing the meaning you give negativity and seeing it as something to serve you, rather than hinder you, allows you to approach uncomfortable and difficult situations in a new way, which enhances your ability to engage more fully with life.
2. Be Aware, Acknowledge and Act on your Negativity – It’s easy to allow ourselves to feel the weight of negativity. When we do this, our negativity anchors us to the past, causing us to literally relive our past in the here and now. In that moment, we are prevented from making any true progress in life. It becomes easier to bail out and accept failure rather than to push through and pursue success.
Instead of dismissing negativity or sweeping it aside, become aware of it, because awareness pulls you out of the past into the present.
Acknowledge and express gratitude for your negativity! You are about to learn something about yourself to help you in life.
You then have a choice; you can react, in a way that could harm you or someone else, or you can respond by consciously acting in a way that serves you for your highest good.
It is this state of being that make lasting changes, not short term fixes.
3. Set yourself up to WIN – Before I go into challenging situations, or have difficult conversations that may trigger my negativity I use my ‘WIN’ technique to calm my mind, calm my body and calm my emotions; I focus on my intention and outcome so that I feel confident to serve others and express my truth. Here is my WIN technique:
W: Walk and Breathe: Deep, controlled breathing helps you to calm down, bringing clarity about the situation. I always walk in a figure-eight; to access both sides of my brain – creativity and logic – and align my head and heart, powering up my intuition.
I: Intention: As you walk, focus on your intention and outcome from the situation. I spend a lot of time front-of-room speaking, engaging with senior leaders in business, working with customers from all walks of life so being clear about my intention and how I can serve my clients or my audience at the highest level is of the highest importance to me. Clarity and certainty of my outcomes brings confidence, puts me in the best mindset to help my clients win.
N: Nail it: Deliver, succeed and celebrate! So many people quickly move onto the next thing without thinking about what they just achieved. Celebrating your achievements helps you to get a sense of your real value and real self-worth. When you value yourself, others will automatically do the same. “
What do you think of Clayton’s tips?
Personally I think it’s far healthier to accept your negativity and to actively channel it, rather than make yourself miserable by trying to suppress it – and becoming even more negative in the process!
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