Problem Page Edition 19 2017

This week – texting a girl friend when you know her boyfriend disapproves, whether being short and ugly stops you finding love and whether your therapist has overstepped the mark.

Couple kissing, holding hands over a cup of coffee

If you would like any advice, feel free to treat me as your agony aunt. Just message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here are this week’s questions.

Q: Today, my therapist said I’ll probably divorce my husband in the near future. Now I just want to prove him wrong. Is my reaction normal? 

I feel really weird but this is how my brain works. There’s no doubt that my marriage is in a bad shape but surely working to save my marriage just to prove my therapist wrong is abnormal?

A:It sounds to me like your relationship with your therapist is slightly screwed and you are treating them like a parent. 

It is really not for anybody to tell you to end your marriage. That is a decision for you and you alone. 

A good therapist will help you identify the issues in your marriage and gently suggest ways in which you could improve things

But suggesting you need to leave your marriage sounds to me rather unethical. 

Frankly I would change your therapist before you change your husband.

Q: Is it disrespectful to a platonic female friend’s boyfriend if we text each other on a regular basis? 

My friend, who has a very jealous boyfriend (and she is very jealous too), started distancing herself from me and told me that she feels it is disrespectful to her boyfriend for us to text each other and talk to each other as much as we do. We were very good friends.

A: Well if I were the boyfriend, I’d be annoyed and I’m sure you know that. 

I think if you are a good friend to this girl you will understand that your friendship is threatening her relationship and take a step back for a while. 

You surely don’t need to text each other daily.

Or is there a little more going on here? 

Are you hoping that she becomes your girlfriend?

In which case you need to broach this with her to find out where you stand.

Q: How can I feel better about the fact that I’m short, ugly, and literally no woman will ever like me?

A:It didn’t stop Napoleon, or Genghis Khan (also short) did it? 

Looks aren’t everything. Intelligence, kindness and interest in your partner will take you further than a 6 pack every time. 

I’ll bet you are not as plain as you’re making out. Everyone has something about them. 

I’d suggest you read a few books about the Law of Attraction too – what you give out you get back.

Start acting like a handsome devil and you may be surprised at the attention you get.

Q:Can people with dyslexia form friendships or relationships with other people?

A: Well of course they can. 

It sounds as if you are suffering from a massive crisis in confidence when there is really no need. 

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? Is there a dyslexia support group nearby? A good place to find support is the British Dyslexia Association who have a helpline (0333 405 4567).

Are there any support groups near you, or is there a dyslexia forum on Facebook where you can chat to others? 

You really aren’t alone with this you know.

Q: Should I get her number from someone else? 

I talked to her last week and asked her out in person. We had a great conversation. She said she wanted to meet next Saturday but would text me about it. She asked for my number but she never texted me. I never got her number. Should I get her number from one of my friends who has it?

A: I think you have to accept that she probably isn’t all that interested – or she has got cold feet. 

Next time why not enter her phone number direct into your phone? 

If you can get her number from your friend I think that’s fine since she has yours but be prepared if you text and hear nothing. 

I think the moment has passed with this one I’m afraid.

Q: If a guy always seems really happy to see you (but you don’t see him very often) and you seem to have natural, friendly conversations, why would he quite clearly angle his body away from you part of the time and not stop to say goodbye when he leaves later on?

A: The logical answer is that he’s just being polite.

When we are really interested in someone, we can’t help but give the game away with our body language.

I’ve written about it in this post 32 Way to tell they’re just not that into you Mother Distracted: 32 Ways To Tell They’re Just Not Into You

Of course it’s possible he is shy and awkward but not saying goodbye just sounds plain rude to me.

How would you have responded to these questions? I’d love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page 

Disclaimer: All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom. 

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