Now I wasn’t aware of this but there are some who take the opportunity to celebrate their relationship on the 6 month anniversary of Valentines Day – August 14th. Yes folk, we’ve just missed Rekindle Your Romance Week.
Not that you should need a special week or day to tell each other you love them / hate them / wish they had never been born depending on your mood.
Freud said the opposite of love is indifference not hate – lest you think my tone is slightly violent.
In my weekly problem page, I regularly find people who have lost relationships they later deeply pined for simply because they didn’t pay attention and nurture their romance.
That sense of connection needs more than sex – it needs talking, shared goals and ambitions, passions, interests and the willingness to say sorry when called for (and even sometimes when it isn’t even your fault).
Choosey Cards, the makers of the rather sweet video I include here asked 100 couples what they did to keep their love alive – all year round and here’s what they found.
1. Travel Together
Travelling together can help you bond, and exploring a new place in the UK or abroad can be a welcome change to your normal routine. It reduces stress, builds intimacy, and helps the two of you learn more about each other. It’s also a great way to give you more to talk about and create lasting memories together.
2. Remember, The Small Things Count
Showing you care, doesn’t have to be with extravagant gestures, sometimes the smallest of gestures can have a big impact. Stock up on your partners favourite food for a little surprise after a tough day at work. Never skip an episode ahead on your favourite TV show. And don’t assume romantic cards are just for Valentine’s Day. It may seem like a dated way to communicate but in fact the research shows that nearly a third of couples buy each other ‘just because’ cards, with the highest age group being the millennials.
3. Make Each Other Laugh
Sometimes life can get serious, work can be tough, and we forget to laugh. The study found that the closer and more relaxed couples were with each other, the more they would laugh. Be it reminiscing, teasing or observing the world around them, laughter is an underrated way to share more. Couples that share jokes report higher levels of intimacy and understanding, from reducing awkwardness on the first date to squashing tension during a heated moment.
4. Between the Sheets
If your sex life starts to dull down and perhaps even become routine, it’s important to make time for intimacy. The research found couples said sex was an important part of staying close to the other – mentally as well as physically – and they spiced things up by trying something new. Broadening your horizons together can be an adventure that lets you learn more about yourselves and each other.
5. Tell Them How You Feel
Choosey’s research found that 66% of couples said “I love you” daily, however 8% of couples never say it. Those three little words are incredibly powerful offering a sense of security that can’t be misinterpreted. Let your loved one know that they are special, that you do care, that you still love them. It doesn’t have to be done through an elaborate poem, just be open, be real, and be honest.
Those of us in the 26% of couples who say “I love you” occasionally should perhaps try to be a little more expressive.
You never know, it might stop the wet towels on the bed, the ever empty toilet roll holder and get you a night out with the girls.