Deciding whether to leave a relationship has to rate as one of the most difficult decisions adults have to make – particularly when there are children involved. As a parent, your children will always be a large factor in most of the decisions you make – from small things, like the food you eat in the evenings, to the bigger ones, like the sort of house you choose to live in. Of course, in most cases, the choices you make will be to benefit the little ones.
This can make things get very complicated when the choice you have to make is one of staying or going. To help you out with this, this post will be exploring this sensitive area, while also going through some of the work you can do to make a big decision which will affect everyone’s life.
Before you can start thinking about the impact it might have, though, it’s a good idea to consider exactly why you would want to leave your family. In almost every case, this will be the result of a breakdown of your relationship with your partner and your children will simply be involved by proxy.
Living in a relationship which you don’t like is never a good thing. But, at the same time, it can be hard to willfully cause disruption in your little one’s lives. Having this sort of dilemma in place can make life very hard, forcing a lot of people to endure things they hate and making the decision whether to leave incredibly difficult.
In reality, most people will end up sticking out their relationship until their children are at an age when they will be able to reasonably cope with it. This sort of approach won’t take any additional work, but will also come with some negative factors.
Below, you can find some examples of both the pros and cons of this side of the argument. Of course, though, you also have to think about how this will be applied to your children, as they will all react differently.
The key benefit of this sort of approach is the lack of turmoil it will bring to your children. Being unable to understand certain issues, children will often assume that they are the problem, and this can make them feel very bad. By staying together, you will avoid this issue, while also making things like school much easier for them. You will have to work hard to make this sort of arrangement work out.
Along with the benefits which come with this, a lot of parents will fail to consider the negative side of it, and this can have a lot of damage on your children’s future. By staying together, you will increase the chances that arguments are had in your home. While they won’t be directed at your child, this sort of conflict can be very bad for them, and it will impact their social development for the rest of their life. Of course, you will also be unhappy if you stay, and this is a very important factor to consider, too.
Making a situation like this work out properly will take a lot of work. To begin, it will be worth making sure that both sides of the partnership know what is going on. It is unfair to plan something like this behind someone’s back, and it will be very hurtful to them if they find out later down the line. As part of your agreement, you will both have to work hard to avoid showing signs of your dismay. This can often be achieved without any trouble.
For some people, the idea of staying with their partner will be too much to bear, and leaving will feel like the only option available. Like staying, there will be a good and a bad side to this, and you will need to think about them both before you get started. The process of leaving itself could be one of the trickiest parts of this. So, to make sure you have everything you need, it could be worth making arrangements before letting your partner know.
One of the main benefits of this sort of option is the escape you will get from it. By not living with someone you struggle with, you will be in better moods, and this will be felt by your children. As a side effect of this, conflict will be a thing of the past for your kids, and they will be able to visit you without the fear of an argument brewing. A lot of children find that having their parents split up can be good for their education, if it happens at the right time.
With the good in something like this, you will always find a negative side. When it comes to divorce, going through legal proceedings, splitting assets, and carrying out the other work involved with this process could be very time consuming. Along with this, as mentioned earlier, this sort of process can have a very negative impact on young children, as they will assume that they have caused the rift. Your newfound freedom will also come at a cost, as you will get a lot less time with your children than you are used to.
Handling a divorce correctly will almost always require some outside help. Companies like Austin Kemp divorce solicitors have a wide range of skills and experience in this sort of field. This can make it much easier for them to win the battles you will have to face, almost always resulting in a settlement which falls in your favour. Along with this, you may also need help when it comes to deciding where the kids will live. It’s always best avoiding court with this choice, as this will help to keep the children out of the whole thing.
Hopefully, with all of this in mind, it will start to get a lot easier to choose the best course of action for your relationship. In reality, it’s usually best to follow you instincts with something like this. Of course, though, if someone breaks your trust or hurts you, it’s important that you’re able to break away and look for a fresh start; you just have to think about the kids in the process.
Deciding whether to leave a relationship is never easy but by putting some of these ideas into practice, you can go some way to minimise the disruption and keep those vital channels of communication open,with both your partner and your kids.
Midlife mum from Cardiff. Wine Imbiber. Likes glitter, fluff and olives. Approaching tweendom with Caitlin (11) and Ieuan (10). The husband is hiding in the loft.
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