Problem Page Edition 22 – 02/06/2018

In problem page edition 22 of 2018 from your online relationship coach – when your ex keeps texting but doesn’t want to meet, whether you can get your ex back after 8 months when they already have someone new and how to tell your friend that they really annoy you.

problem page edition 22 - bunch of pink rosebuds in a white basket

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

If you would like any advice, just message me or add a comment at the end of this post and I will answer selected questions on this problem page.

Here are the questions for problem page edition 22.

Q: What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant/your significant other was pregnant?

A: I was very happy both times. I had my kids at 43 and 45 with natural conceptions so it was a bit of a miracle both times. I am my husband’s second wife and he had come out of a long childless marriage. We had both assumed it would never happen but happily, it did. I wrote about it here

Q: Why does my ex-boyfriend text me from time to time but doesn’t want to meet me?.

A: To keep you dangling by the sound of it. If he doesn’t want to meet you what explanation could there be other than this is a power trip for him?

If you don’t need him in your life any more, I’d just ignore the text and, if it bothers you, change your phone number.

You can stop this if you choose.

I’d also be tempted to ask HIM why he keeps texting.

Q: Even after our break up, my ex and I still talk every now and then. However, he treats me coldly, as if I were a stranger. Our conversations are always superficial. Why can’t he be honest about what/how he feels?

A: It sounds as if, by treating you coldly, he IS being honest. Could it be that you just don’t want to accept it’s over?

He is clearly no longer interested so rather than put yourself through this, upset yourself, and giving him the satisfaction of knowing you’re still clinging on, I’d be as cold to him as he is to you.

And to be quite frank, avoid him. If he hasn’t got the maturity to be polite, is he really worth your time?

Either way. Time to move on.

Q: Ex broke up with me after 3 years. We hung out and hook up for 3 months but then we got into a fight about a guy she starting to see. She blocked me on everything after. Is there any chance of getting her back in the future? Is this a rebound?

A: It doesn’t sound as if it is a rebound. I am not quite sure what you mean by a ‘hook up’ – do you mean she was unfaithful to her new boyfriend with you?

It sounds as if, by blocking you, she is telling you quite clearly that she has made her choice and, in your shoes, I’d leave her to it.

If she is interested in taking you back, she’ll unblock you from her social accounts soon enough, but why hang around and give her the satisfaction of knowing you’re putting your life on hold for her?

Go out, enjoy yourself and date other people. 3 years is a long time and it will take a while to get over it, but try to enjoy your freedom. There’ll be someone new soon enough.

Q: Is it possible to get an ex back 8 months after a breakup when he has started dating someone new?

A: If the ex in question has made no attempt to contact you, to stay in touch or to see you then it’s pretty clear they have moved on.

It’s always really difficult when we want our ex back but after 8 months it doesn’t look too hopeful.

Are you sure you don’t want him back because he has found someone new – and possibly you haven’t? That’s not a good reason to take someone back, you know, because the reasons why you broke up will still be there.

I would concentrate on going out, having a good time and looking for someone new.

Q: What should I think of my boyfriend liking two old pictures of a girl on Instagram?

A: How do you know? In your shoes, I’d be slightly miffed but if you have been snooping through his insta feed asking him about it might lead to a difficult conversation.

It’s possible he knows this girl and if he knows you see his account a bit tactless I think.

I’d try not to read too much into it but if something is making you feel uneasy, I’d keep an eye on him. Sometimes our instincts sound alarm bells when there isn’t actually anything specific to relate to but in my experience, it pays to listen to them.

Q: How do I tell my friend that he annoys me with the way he acts towards me without hurting his feelings?

A: Just be honest and upfront and say “stop doing that you’re getting on my nerves” or “I love you but you drive me nuts when”. If he doesn’t know then he can’t stop it, can he?

If he does know he’s annoying you then he’s either got an odd sense of humour or is a pain in the butt – in which case, I’d query whether I’d want to hang out with him.

I hope you enjoyed Problem Page Edition 22. You can find more dating advice from your online relationship coach in these posts:-

Dating:  11 Ways To Tell They’re Really Into You

 6 Signs Your Dating Buddy Isn’t On Your Side

32 Ways To Tell They’re Just Not That Into You

Problem Page 10 - pink flowers and macaroons

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